.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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