The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
