Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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