I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
