I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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