They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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