I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I came so hard my ears popped.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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