i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
