Where are you?
In a non slutty way
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
