wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
