How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
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Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
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