I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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