bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
