I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
