...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
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I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
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She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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