I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
never play flip cup with pint glasses
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
