U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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