why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
this boner is exhausting
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
