Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
