you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
