so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
