that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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