every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize