i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
