Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
