Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
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