He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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