Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
