i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize