Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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