wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
