They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
