Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
