i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I am naked and annoyed.
Everclear isn't food dammit