Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
