I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.