Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..