We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
