I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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