i permit you to call me
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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