wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
