More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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