this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
