Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize