I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
