does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
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I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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