In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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