bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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