Apparently you make a good broom.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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