just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize