Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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