So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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