just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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