I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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