The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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