OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
