ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
