Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Randomize
