:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize