I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
where are you?
Hypothermia
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
