I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
