The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
